Why did you have to leave?

Accepting that you are gone
leaves a puncture in my chest
the hole is so big that I start bleeding
when the thought of you skims through my soul.

Why did the earth have to be so cruel to me?
Was I not kind?
Did I not pray enough?

I’ve become immune to the pain now
it doesn’t hurt as much
I could take a knife and stab myself over and over again
but it wouldn’t hurt
because when you left
you took everything with you.
The joy.
The numbness.
The pain.
The smiles.
That now I’m as empty as a blackhole.