CURSE OF THE FEMALE

Posted on by A. Rinum in Poetry

I was nine or younger when a fourteen-year-old friend in my village was married off to a man much older than her. 

I was twelve or younger when that male relative said, “Wives are free slaves,” as we, the women, were setting up the table for the men to eat first. 

I was fifteen or younger when my aunt rubbed her swollen belly and hissed at my mother, “What if it’s a girl,” as if being born with the xx chromosome was equivalent to having a contagious disease. 

I was eighteen or younger when a close relative sobbed, “It’s a girl again,” as he cursed his wife for bearing him another daughter. They didn’t stop until they had a boy. In total, they had seven children: six girls and one boy. 

I was twenty-one or younger when a woman in our village cried to my mother, asking her to keep her ten-year-old daughter as a house help. 

I was twenty-four or younger when our neighbors pulled their witty and intelligent daughter out of school because they couldn’t afford her education. But her brother still went and failed a couple of times.

I was twenty-seven or younger and pregnant with my first baby, and everyone around me prayed that I have a boy.

I was twenty-nine or younger and pregnant with my second child, and everyone congratulated me for having a boy (implying that I was lucky not to have the burden of daughters).

The women in my family confuse strength and resilience with vulnerability and subservience. Even if we’re in pain, we tie our tongues, push them back in our mouths, and smile. We silence our words so our fathers can speak. We crush our dreams so our brothers can fulfill theirs. We lower our heads so our husbands can raise theirs.

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Published by A. Rinum

I was born in Pakistan, and I moved to the US when I was four years old. From the rural villages of Pakistan to the buildings of New York. Come take a glimpse into my life.

14 thoughts on “CURSE OF THE FEMALE”

  1. And we forget it men who decide what the child’s gender is going to be, though it doesn’t matter, some societies are still male oriented and it’s considered as a life long security for their family. Hope you won’t be thinking like that when it will be time for your boys ,,😊

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  2. What is astounding to me that many women in the USA seem to enjoy being a lesser species, given the people they have just put back in power. Contrary to the way it may appear, 50% of us are appalled at being associated with THEM.

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  5. I was really sad to hear this. But a man is incomplete without a woman. A man should respect his wife. Be it a boy or a girl, look at both with the same eyes and love them. The world has changed. Today a girl can do every work that a boy does.

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    1. The world has changed, but some people refuse to change their mindsets. A year ago my mom’s cousin’s daughter had a daughter who passed away. My moms cousin told her it was okay because the child was a daughter 😦

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    1. I wish I could say the same for every person. From personal experience, i feel like people from south east Asia don’t respect woman as much. There are so many cases where women suffer because of choices that men make.

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